I have an idea on how to get my floating object to rotate around my guy. This idea should also solve the collision problem that i'm having. Unfortunately this solution looks something like this:

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This means I must deal with sin and cos and math and stuff that makes my brain hurt. Another downside is that I've only gotten as far as high school geometry. That was 6 years ago. Sigh. On the plus side if it works it will in fact kick ass.
* 3D glasses not available in all areas.